7th March 2017: Absurdity and Irony

It’s been ages since I’ve posted here isn’t it?

Since this is my corner, I will just rant here, even though there’s negative emotions involved.

A lot of people distanced themselves from me because of my overwhelming negativity repelling forces. A friend of mine told me “Can you stop being so pessimistic that even affects the others? Your negative energy spreads everywhere! One day you will be crushed if this continues.”

Well, I admitted sometimes I do emit negative energy. Like “Oh dear, I have xxx needs to be done!” “FML” “I fked up” etc, but the frequency had been reducing a lot since form six. If you ask my secondary school friend, they will say my current self are far more better. Some exaggerated ones even told me “You changed 180 degrees!!” Because during my primary and secondary school years, I was ranting and stressed everyday in my studies all the day, not wanting to fail my expectations.

Now? I feel like I was more and more lenient to my targets. Otherwise I won’t be joining CCAs or hanging around with friends. (LOL)

Okay back to the topic.

I was actually wondering, all the time.

Is Engineering for me?

Well from the personality test results, I am the investigative type person, wanted to know how things works, observant, and creative. Creative is my main strength. I can have tons of ideas, useful or stupid ones, flowing in my mind all the time, if there’s inspiration. I can change a character’s design from time to time, like scrapping it over and start from scratch again. I like writing too, but only daily lifes and fictional ones though (Argumentative essay sucks haha).

Since I am more inclined towards artistic, is Engineering, which involves more logical thinking suits me?

I thought I am pretty strong in Mathematics too. I can easily score high marks in Secondary School Additional Maths, score decently in Maths T in STPM. I even asked my tuition teacher for harder questions to attempt, while the others were still struggling to solve past year questions.

Maybe that’s just an illusion of me being good in Maths. Maybe the real maths isn’t that simple but I didn’t realise it. This illusion is broken since I stepped into university life, especially starting my uni life in Singapore, as a student in NUS.

I noticed the huge gap between a typical, above average STPM graduate and a local JC/Poly graduate. Any average one of them did better than me. I struggled in the beginning, especially mathematics, the unique strength of the students studying in Singapore.

Do you know that scoring less than 8 out of 10 in mid terms are considered bad? As most of you think that it’s absurd, realistically it’s true in NUS. Because the average is 8, scoring less than average means: you sucks.

Sometimes hardwork doesn’t help you much in maths, passion and talent does. I have learnt the hard truth of it.

Please do not take up Engineering if you are not passionate or good enough in maths.

Nevertheless, I am going to prove that, with sheer hardwork, I can score well in exams too 🙂





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